In Jesus name I Pray

Days have past since attending the Baha'i's home. I have done my best not to make any judgments of their religion and to be open to accepting truth, no matter how different it might be from what I have previously believed. I humbled myself before God and have asked Him to reveal Himself to me so I may know His nature. I thought about my experience off Parham road. I thought about the energy that filled the room that night. And here's where this analysis has led me.

Something in the deepest parts of my gut prompted me to say the words Jesus Christ instead of praying to this generalized "God of All" the other night while praying. It's funny that I chose that phrase "Jesus Christ. Lord of lords, All glory be to You." as they said their Baha'i prayers. I usually talk very conversationally to God in my everyday. It's fairly peculiar that I chose to say "Lord of lords" that night and call Him by His official name. I don't talk that way. It was awfully formal of me to pray in that manner. I don't even call Jesus by his name unless I reference Him out of tradition or ritual when closing out my prayers by saying, "In Jesus Christ I pray." I usually just call Him God. But here I was, without preparation or any thinking involved, in an instinctual fashion calling on Jesus as my Lord of lords and asking that He may have "ALL glory". It wasn't until I came home, wrote my post and meditated on the reason for this for days that it came clear to me why I was calling on His name during my time with the Baha'i's.

I spent several days dreaming about their faith. I talked about the religion. Looked up it's history online. I read from the books given to me by Thelma. I even put the framed photograph of their Prophets son up and really gazed at it for some time. I mean, they believed this man was the Son of a living manifestation of God himself, much like Jesus Christ, so he certainly deserved my attention, right? I wanted to believe this faith was true and support it's cause because it's such a wonderful idea that all religions have it "right."

Finally, after about 4 or 5 days of meditating on the Baha'i religion, I realized I was a bit spooked. I had this uneasiness in my heart and in my soul. This uneasiness lasted for almost 72 hours. It wasn't until I stopped hiding this feeling from God that I heard his voice once again. Our conversation went much like this:

"God, you're scaring me. I've had nightmares about religion. I can't stop thinking about the Baha'i faith and Balluluah's claim that he was You, the second coming of Jesus Christ here on earth. How can you let me be scared by You? You have told me to not be afraid, so I'm ashamed that I have this fear. I don't want to hide it any longer though because hiding from You, and fearing You is only giving power to this fear. What's up here? Why would You allow this? I'm embarrassed to even admit this to you, God. But I'm spooked by the only thing that usually bring me peace! I'm sorry that I feel this way. But how can I have too much God in my life that it scares me? So I guess it's true, you can have too much of even a good thing... right God?"

After I was done rambling, God gave me a minute to still my mind and then replied: "I've been waiting for you to come to me with this. Be not afraid I am with you."

I felt peace in that brief moment but that peace quickly turned into frustration. "But You're who is scaring me! So if you're with me, why should that bring me comfort and not fear?"

To which God replied: "Would I allow you to fear Me?"

"I didn't think so, God, but I'm clearly afraid of You. I stand before you, filled with so much angst that I'm apprehensive to even tell you about it. I'm in over my head with this religious and spiritual stuff. Maybe I should distance myself from it so it doesn't make its way into every area of my life."

To which God replied: "Could My Presence make you afraid? Could My Presence haunt your dreams? Could you be filled with fear while in My company? Be not afraid, for I am with you"

God was obviously missing something. "Well, clearly I can, God. I'm telling you I'M AFRAID OF YOU RIGHT NOW!" I said in anger.

To which God lovingly replied: "Be not afraid, for I am with you. If you have this fear, what is that telling you? Do not be deceived. I am with you."

"Deceived?" I thought to myself. "Do not be deceived? What does that mean? "After days of frustration, chaos and uncertainty, I was finally, in the blink of an eye, blanketed with an unimaginable peace. A knowing. Clarity. Understanding. It dawned on me.....

Before I could even get out the words, He replied. "I have listened, and I have stayed near to you while you are on your search but have you stayed near to Me"?

Then I remembered his words from a few weeks prior. "To understand who I am, you must understand who I am not."

I began to cry. I picked up my Bible and read Matthew chapter 16 and I reunited with God once again.

So what did I learn from the Bahai's? Well, it's hard for me to even say. It's hard for me to type this out and say "this is what I believe" because it comes across as exclusive and it directly contradicts what so many others believe because it is indeed a very "narrow gate" when you take into affect all the other religions in the world. But by not saying this in my blog, or to anyone who asks where my faith resides is to hide the TRUTH as I know it. My truth. And I am, accountable to God more than I am this world. So here it goes....

I was praying to Jesus Christ during my prayer with the Baha'is, whose entire religion is based on the fact that ALL religions are "right," because I don't believe that. I just don't believe that. And not because my ego is too big to think that I can not be "wrong" or because I have some need to be "right." Not because I lack the depth or understanding of other religions. Not because I'm not loving or peaceful. I'm trying, desperately, to see how there is another path to God aside from JUST through Jesus Christ because I like the thought of everyone being "right" much much better. But the truth is, if I'm honest with myself, I believe what my father believed early in his search for Truth:

Jesus Christ, The Lamb, Lord of all lords, died on the cross for my sins. And through HIM we have hope and eternal life. In that moment when Jesus Christ took his last breath it was finished. John 19:17-30 I can't say where all those other paths lead, but I can say this: He was either a liar, or He was God himself. And Jesus was not a liar. He finished it. Therefore, from my understanding, there was no other need for God to manifest himself here on earth after Jesus Christ, because it is done!

My fear was not fear of my one true Creator, Jesus Christ, Lord of lords, my fear was because it WAS NOT Jesus Christ. That fear has now been replaced with a stronger faith than ever before. One thing I know for sure and no false prophet will ever ever tell me otherwise as long as I keep the Lord close....Jesus Christ was the Son of God, he died and was resurrected.

So for the Baha'i religion to be worthy of my devote commitment and worship, I must ask: Does the Baha'i Faith agree that Jesus Christ was the Son of God and that he was sacrificed so that we may have eternal life? If the answer is yes, then I'm all ears. And maybe I am a Baha'i. But when Jesus turns to me and asks "who do they say I am?" And I answer with "one of the great prophets" I will be filled with peace knowing that when he asks me the next question I will confidently reply: "You are the Christ, Son of the living God." (Matthew 16:13-17) and you know what? I'm finally happy to openly admit that regardless of whether or not it's P.C.

Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent. John 17:3

Whew, I'm glad I got that off my chest. If you know the joy I have living within my heart, please thank Him for what He did for us. Not just on Easter, not just in a moment of silent gracious prayer on Sunday (or Saturday for you Adventists and Messianic Jews) but in everything you do; be like Him and let your light shine so that others may see and want to know where your joy comes from!

It's my prayer today that the love of Jesus Christ overwhelm YOU in every area of your life. I'm here to tell ya, there's no such thing as too much of a good thing.

Thank you, God. Thank you for allowing me to briefly overcome my ego today. To overcome my pride, my need to be accepted, and have the ability to share the Good News exactly as it should be shared. Thank you God for allowing Your Spirit to give me the strength I need to be a witness on Your behalf. Thank you for your living Word, where I find this strength. God, remind me continually that this world is not about me. It is about You and how I can serve You. God, I ask that you strengthen my faith so that I may never have fear. In JESUS NAME I pray. Amen.